Suicide
by Apollo Owens
Summary: What happens when the most important person in your life commits suicide? GaaraXNaruto
1. Chapter 1

**Hey peoples! I just wanted to say that I am having writers block with one of my other stories so therefore I am writing this dribble. Please forgive me!**

_**Suicide**_

The body was covered in a white sheet, but that didn't stop the crimson blood from seeping through. This also didn't stop his friends from seeing the gore either.

The body belonged to a young male of Japanese decent. He had crimson hair and sea foam green eyes when he was still alive. These eyes were surrounded by dark eyeliner that made him look sort of like a raccoon. Now the eyes were closed... forever. He had a lithe form with lean muscle and he was pail. Very pail.

The boy didnt seem very happy at home. He had an abusive father and uncle. The uncles excuse was the the child had killed his fraternal twin sister. His brother and sister didnt do much to help. They coward in their rooms and ignored the things that were going on outside their little worlds. They refused to believe the things that were going on in their own home.

The boy was passionate about poetry and art. To him it was a way of escape from the dark things that went on in his life. He loved the play of words that Shakespeare wrote in Romeo & Juliet. He wanted to become a teacher. But most of all, the crimson haired boy had an almost luminescent glow about him that made him seem almost like poetry in itself. He was the most perfect boy in this most imperfect world. The boys name was Gaara. Sabuku no Gaara.

And how did I know all of this? Because I was his best friend. I was that beautiful boys best friend even when he didnt want to be mine. I stood by him while his family was being cruel. There has never been a time that I have not been there for him. Except now. I didnt know he was planning on doing anything like this. I was confident enough that he would tell me if he was planning on doing anything like this.

I guess he didnt trust me enough or liked me enough to tell me.

When I stepped into the Mansion that was owned by Suna corp. I was immediately greeted by police. I was already expecting them. I saw their cars out front. Along with an ambulance. The police were telling us to keep back but we went up there anyways. We pushed past all the police officers and detectives and all the other people getting in the way of me seeing what was going on.

My first thought was to see who it was.

When I saw the pail hand sticking out from under the now crimson sheet I knew exactly who it was.

I screamed. As loud as I could. I ran toward him in a panicked flurry. Sasuke held me back. I fought against him. Punched kicked bit. But it was to no avail. No matter how much I pummeled Sasuke he refused to let me go.

Now was time for a confession. I would never admit this to anyone until now.

I was totally and unconditionally in love with my best friend. I regretted not telling him sooner. The reason I was going there was to confess to him.

When I stopped fighting I began to cry and go into hysterics. I clung to Sasuke because I knew I wouldnt be able to hold myself up. Soon afterward I blacked out.

When I woke up I was in my bed in my room. The door was shut and I was alone. I thought what had happened was a dream and when I went to Gaaras house he would greet me with his usual scowl. But when I got there I was sorely mistaken. There was still blood on the floor from the other day. And there was a knife on the floor that was covered in blood as well. I picked it up, for I had recognized it as Gaaras. I had bought it for him along time ago for his 12th birthday.

The handle was crimson with gold for the trimming. The blade was black because it was made out of volcanic stone. It was newly sharpened to. I cut my finger. By a stroke of insanity I folded up the weapon and put it in my pocket.

Thats when the horror of it caught up with me.

_**GAARA WAS DEAD!!!!!!!!**_

This realization hit me like a ton of bricks. I bolted from that vile place.

Still in my mood of insanity when I got home I threw all of my junk, except for my computer cell phone bed and desk, out into the hallway and locked the door. My eyes were wide I did so. My door had 4 different locks on it so I wasn't worried about anyone coming in. I opened the window, my eyes still wide and I haven't blinked yet, and jumped out. We were three stories up but there were soft bushes and grass that broke my fall.

I ran down the street and bought 3 cans of paint. I ran home quickly and scaled the wall up to my window by climbing the tree. Once inside I open one can and throw it against the wall. It splatters. It makes a deep black stain against the white. I do this with all three cans until the majority of my walls are black. I dont try to cover anything up. What do I have that I really care about.

I start to scream again and everything goes black.

A week has gone by. I haven't left my room once. The paint on the walls has dried and I am huddled up on the carpeted floor staring at the computer screen. I am waiting for something to happen. I dont know what it is but I want it to happen. I'm waiting.

There are deep circles under my eyes I guess. I haven't gone to sleep for a long time. This is the 4th time it has read 2:30 on the computer. I dont know if it is day or night because my window has been painted over. It is the color of crimson. I dont remember doing it.

There are times when things go blank and I dont know what is going on till I look at my colander. I've stopped checking by now. I dont care any more.

There have been calls on my cell phone. I dont bother to answer or check to see who called. I dont care anymore.

People have come by and tried to coax me out of my room. I dont budge or even answer. They've stopped trying and resorted to sending me emails. I read them but dont reply. So they've stopped trying with that and have now tried calling my cell. They'll soon give up on that to.

Everything goes dark.

There is a pinging noise that indicates I have mail. I growled then cough at the effort it takes to do this. I crawl over to the monitor and move the mouse. The light dings on and I try to focus on what the computer is saying. I read who its from. Take a double take and hastily click on the mail. Its from Gaara.

_To: Fox-kun_

_From: Panda-kun_

_Subject: We are all living a lie_

_Dear Fox-kun,_

_I am most likely dead by the time you get this. If I am still alive I have made a mistake. You are most likely confused as to how I am sending you this. You're conclusion would be to think that I am still alive. If you want to then go ahead. Believe that I am still walking this earth. For if you look hard enough I am standing right beside you._

_Panda-kun_

I wanted to cry. But most of all I wanted to scream. Was he telling me that he was alive? Was he dead? I so wanted to believe that he was.

So I would.

Gaara was alive. He had to be. Otherwise he wouldnt have been able to send this email.

In the email he told me that he was next to me. And sure enough there he was. Sitting cross legged like he hadn't a care in the world. Like he wasn't dead at all. I smiled at him. He smiled at me. I wanted to scream his name but he made a gesture for me to stay quiet. So I did. Instead I hugged him. I held him to my chest. It was almost impossible to believe. Why did he have to scare me like that?! I truly thought he was dead!

The emotional strain is to much so I slip back into darkness. I dont want to go but with Gaaras arms wrapped around me I dont care.

There is furious banging on the door and it startles me back into consciousness. It is Iruka. He is begging for me to come out of the room. Pleading for me to come out. Gaaras funirul will begin in a few hours. I want to scoff but am to tired. Gaara is not dead. He is alive. He is sitting here stroking my head. Whoever is in that coffin will most definitely not be Gaara.

I am loosing sight of time again. I dont know what date it is until I hear a ding that tells me that I have a message. I crawl to the computer and see that the message is from Gaara once again. But I see that he is standing right beside me. Looking over my shoulder.

_To: Fox-kun_

_From: Panda-kun_

_Subject: Anything that has to deal with everything_

_Dear Fox-kun,_

_The time is now to act._

_The time is now to feel._

_Love me and hold me like you would if I were real._

_Show me why the sky is blue._

_Like you eyes so deep and true._

_Show me why the sun is so gold._

_Like your hair in the night._

_Tell me things I didnt know._

_Tell me things I never knew._

_Bring with me to your forever._

_Panda-kun_

I was surprised to get a poem. A new one I had never read. Something that tore at my heart. What did the poem mean? Gaaras poems often confused me. They were written in a why that only the poets knew to read. There was the heart ache as well. I did not know where it came from but all of a sudden I was in agonizing pain.

I started to scream again. Gaara was trying to calm me but it wasn't working. I couldnt feel his touch. The darkness crept up on me again.

I finally realized that the Gaara I was seeing was a figment of my imagination. My desperation for him to be alive and with me. I still didnt know why I kept getting email from him then. Maybe my mind was making them up to?

For what seemed like an eternity I got another email from him.

_To: Fox-kun_

_From: Panda-kun_

_Subject: This charade must end_

_Dear Fox-kun,_

_**T**__oday is the next day of our lives._

_**O**__ver and over do the days go by._

_**D**__ays seem like years and then seem like months._

_**A**__narchy will play beneath the streets and plague those who dare to stop it._

_**Y**__esterday was our end to the day of days._

_**I**__t will not be a pleasant end._

_**S**__econds tick away and your still sitting there._

_**T**__ime is of the essence go find your peace._

_**H**__andle those with care or they will most surely break._

_**E**__nd their miserable existence._

_**E**__nd it before it can begin._

_**N**__ever look back or you will regret all that you have done._

_**D**__estroy all those who get in you way._

_Panda-kun_

This is just as confusing as the last. It makes no sense. None at all. It is the language of the Gaara and those that are like him. But there is no one like Gaara. He is a perfect being. There is no one as perfect as Gaara in my eyes.

I am so hungry. The pain in my stomach wont go away. Not matter how many times I hit it the pain just simply refuses to subside. But I refuse to leave the room. And I wont let anyone in.

I want to die. I dont want to die. Why was I still alive? Didn't the all mighty being see that I just wanted to waste away into nothingness?

I cant get up. I am to weak to. So I stay by the computer so that I can see if there are any other letters that come in. it takes them an eternity to get here. But I wait. And I hope that they come. Because those letters are what keep me from going off the deep end.

But aren't I already here? Am I not already going insane?

A ding signals that an email has just come in.

_To: Fox-kun_

_From: Panda-kun_

_Subject: This is good bye_

_Dear Fox-kun,_

_Pain cutting in deep._

_There is no running._

_There is no escaping._

_Oblivion is calling._

_What? Do you think just because I'm afraid that means I will bread down?_

_You bring the shadows with you._

_You have me seeing nothing but darkness._

_You say its over._

_I can sigh again._

_Confused?_

_Deal with it!_

_You are an unbeliever._

_A heartless freak._

_Feel free to die anytime now._

_The sound of silence..._

_Utter silence._

_Basic instructions before leaving earth:_

_Begin the Apocalypse._

_Oblivion doesn't scare me cause you've made me perfect._

_You cant kill perfection._

_Perfection doesn't die._

_Not even in your eyes._

_You just cant kill me._

_I wont die._

_Not this time._

_Time to gather up the splinters._

_Build a casket for my tears._

_Never question what I am._

_I am what I am..._

_And what I am is..._

_Nobody!!_

"_Who is a nobody?" you ask?_

_They are the non-existent no ones._

_If you're confused define tomarro._

_Tell me were you found your faith._

_Show me were your place is in this meaningless world._

_Bring it down._

_Tell me if I'm one of the nine immortal men doomed to die._

_I've been forgotten._

_Cut my life into pieces._

_This is my last resort._

_Sufacation._

_No breathing._

_Pull the trigger._

_No way out._

_Horizons of nothing._

_Life of agony._

_Shattered with no spare key._

_I guess I'm just born to loose._

_Cause I've lost..._

_All meaning._

_What good is sight if theres nothing there?_

_I've been lost._

_Found._

_And thrown away._

_No one cares._

_You cant see my misery through your own._

_I'm sick of you and your hypocritical ways._

_I'm sick of my heart being chained down._

_I have wings but no where to fly._

_Every finger in the room is pointing at me._

_Friends turn to shadows and drag me away._

_I'm just a worthless liar._

_But worst of all I'm an Anti-hero with a suicidal excuse._

_I can go back to abyss._

_Back to the casums. _

_Back to begging the pain to start all over._

_I can go back to the echoes. _

_Back to my non-existence._

_Back to Oblivion..._

_Back to Oblivion!_

_End._

_I Love you Naruto Uzumaki._

_Panda-kun_

I was stunned. Completely and utterly stunned. It baffled me. I couldnt wrap my mind around what he was trying to tell me. But then I read it a second time. Then a third. And finally I understood. He loved me too. My love wasn't unconditional.

He honestly loved me even at his moment of death.

And this knowledge only made the pain worse. It felt like someone was ripping me as easily as paper. I cried. Hard. It hurt. But even though I was going through so much pain there was a sliver of pleasure. All because Gaara, my perfect Gaara, loved me too.

And surprisingly enough I feel asleep. I went back into the darkness. But this time. I didnt resurface.

**End for this segment**

**For some of you this little story will be cheesy. For some of you it will be sad. For me it was just alittle bit if inspiration that I needed to get out of me otherwise I would be going insane right now. Review to tell me if you had fun?**


	2. Another side to the story

**This is the epilogue. It wont be all that long.**

**Epilogue**

_There was an ambulance sitting in front of a three story home. Inside this home was a body that had died of dehydration and starvation. It was as simple as that. I guess you could say it was from heart break as well. Yes. Definataly from heart break. And this boys name was Uzumaki Naruto. The person who broke said Uzumakis heart was non other than Gaara no Sabuku._

_The boy known as Naruto had lasted a little over a month. I guess you could say that was good luck. But to those that see this in another light will see that it is torture. But lets rewind to the part where said Uzumaki Naruto died._

_Naruto stared, transfixed to the screen that was his computer. There were a million emotions playing across his face. Naruto was so weak that he could not lift up so he turned on his back and began to cry. Then to scream. They were agonized streaks. He lasted for 5 minutes before he passed out from shear exhaustion. _

_But he seemed to sit up all of a sudden. Not it was not him physically if you were wondering. Naruto stood and walked a few paces before a figure appeared. Naruto jumped on the red head._

"_See? I told you if you looked hard enough you would realize I was there." Gaara whispered in Narutos ear. Naruto silenced him from saying anymore with a long awaited for kiss. It was sweet._

_Then banging came to the door._

"_Naruto?! Answer me please! I'm begging you that you not shut yourself up any longer! This is the last time I am going to tell you this! Open the door NOW or I will break it down." Iruka screamed from the other side of the door. There were others with Iruka. _

_Kakashi, Sasuke, Shikimaru, and Kiba were all present and ready to help out if needed. When there was no reply everyone backed up and rushed the door. The framing splintered. A second time made it crack and a third had the door crumbling and smacking against the wall._

_They all saw the state that the room was in. almost black walls. Window covered in red. Phone still on charger and computer screen still aglow. The bed seemed clean except the black paint that splattered on it._

_Naruto lay crumpled facing the ceiling unmoving. And it appeared as if he were not breathing._

_Kakashi, Iruka, and Sasuke went to go check on Naruto whilst Shikimaru and Kiba checked his phone._

_182 unanswered calls, 145 unchecked voice messages, and 207 unchecked text messages._

_There was a cry from behind them so the two turned. They saw Iruka clutching the now pale figure of Naruto Uzumaki. There was no denying that he was dead now. Because he wasn't breathing. His heart wasn't racing and his normally tan skin was now death pale. What is normally a warm person is now a lifeless cold corpse._

_They do not notice the figures of Naruto and Gaaras ghosts. They are invisible. They are shimmers and flickers of the light. The two are there. And yet they are not._

_The pair stand and watch the scene play out before them. Naruto wants to rush to Iruka and tell him he was sorry but knew he couldnt. Even he is not that stupid._

_So Naruto stole one last glance at his friends. Gave them all an unseen smile. Laced his transparent fingers with his loves. And walked toward the door. They exited the home and walked into the street. _

_Sasuke had opened the window and looked out just as they were walking past. He saw the blond and the red head. Both were smiling._

"_Hey dobe!" He called lightly. The blond looked at him in surprise. Sasuke smiles down at him. "Bye." He waves. Naruto grins in return. _

"_We'll wait up for you Sasuke!" The blond yells. His voice seems a little faded. Sasuke nodded. Gaara pulls Naruto along and sets of down the street. Heading in the direction of the setting sun. As Sasuke watched the two head off he see's them shimmer and fade into the light._

_Sasuke stares at the sun for a moment. Only letting one tear escape his perfectly made facade. The tear falls and lands in the grass under the window._

**The end**

**For real this time. This is the last segment of this story. Hoped you all liked it. Since I am such a sap I am going to admit that I wanted to cry. Shut up for all of you who laughed. Welp review to tell me whether you liked it or not. Tata for now!**


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